I also think part of the problem is our townhouse. Our basement has flooded several times since we’ve been here and it smells musty and moldy and there isn’t too much we can do about it. They have a sump pump down there but we sit so low on the water table that it is constantly working, which leads it to break down every once in awhile. We also have extremely hard well water, it actually turns our tub and sink orange from all the junk in it. So I don’t think that helps either. We’re trying to look for another place, but there’s not alot out there right now.

Anyways, enough grumbling. I know I’ll get my positivity back. I have an amazing support system: my husband, family and friends. And I’m thankful for what I still have. I really am. It’s just that every once in awhile, you need to have a “Poor Me” day, when you can vent, have a good cry and an ice cream. Only then can you pick yourself up and keep going with the rest of the world.

For the last 10 years, my parents have taken care of an elderly friend of ours, named Mary. Before her husband, Danny, passed away of cancer in 1999, they took care of him as well. And before Danny, it was our friend, Katherine. My parents are 2 of the nicest, most selfless and giving people I have ever known. And I’m not just saying that. They willingly and happily give of their time and resources to help ANYONE in need, and it’s all due to their love for God and their neighbor, both of which are 100% genuine. I pray every day that I can be more like them.

I’m going to be honest: Mary was not the easiest person in the world to deal with. Danny had pampered her thru-out their entire marriage, like any good husband would do, and she didn’t want that to change just because he was gone. I guess when you’re 80 years old, you have the right to demand exactly what you want. Why not? She missed Danny terribly. We all do. Mary loved crime shows, scallops and Dove chocolates. She would tell everyone she hated chocolate but we would find bags of it hidden around her house. (She finally owned up to it! HAHA!) She loved the latest gossip, children and getting her hair done. She had the most beautiful skin you have ever seen in your life. Even on her death bed, at 89 years old, she did not have a single wrinkle on her face.

The end for her was very sad. Mike called me when I got out of work Friday night to let me know she wasn’t doing well and they didn’t think she was going to make it through the weekend. Despite the fact that I was closer to her husband, Mary was like a mom to MY mother and I knew my parents were going to have a very rough time with her passing. So I went right over to the nursing home to be with them. When I walked in, my Mom was reading the Bible to her. (From Psalms, her favorite.) I wasn’t expecting Mary to look the way she did. I instantly burst into tears. She was in and out of consciousness and having trouble breathing. And my poor mother was already a mess and my crying just made it worse! My Dad showed up a few minutes later and we sat around her bed, talking to her and sharing old memories of her and Danny. Friends stopped by periodically to see her: Liz and Dennis, Mike and Tilly….all remembering the good times.

We stayed with her until 1:30 AM. She seemed to be finally resting somewhat comfortably, so we decided to go home and catch a couple of hours sleep. My parents were back at the nursing home at 7:00 AM. I decided to stay home and keep my youngest brother, Ike, company. We didn’t want him to have to see Mary like that.

Mary passed away early Saturday afternoon. She was surrounded by the wonderful hospice staff and her “kids”, my parents, who had taken such amazing care of her. They were with her until the very end.

I have to say, I’m not sad for Mary. It tore me apart to see her suffering at the end, knowing there was nothing we could do. But now, she is no longer in pain and she is finally resting. And the next time she opens her eyes, she will be with Danny in the Paradise. That’s all she ever wanted.

She has paid her dues. She’s there.

It’s the rest of us who have to work hard every day to make sure we can reach the Paradise, as well.

See you soon, Mary! See you soon…